Try And Slip One Past Me...

So apparently there is a new fancy suitcase out to try and trip up our rules and regs on rollaboards on regional jets.  

This suitcase is designed to carry as one suicase through the airport, but when you get on board-voila! One snap of the finger and it disassembles into a smaller suitcase and two other compartments.  What many flight attendants don't explain (and some don't even know the rules themselves) is that it even if you disassemble it the larger part must be no larger than 36 LINEAR inches.  Yes, linear inches.  It doesn't matter if it "fits." Or if it "fit" on the last flight.  Or the gate agent said you could "try and see if it fits."  If you tell us that we are MORE likely to not let you onboard with whatever precious contents you have inside.  We have a very keen eye at the aircraft door and we can pretty much call 36 inches.  (Not to mention you can only have one carry-on item and one personal item.  Hello, above? There are three.)

This is not because we are mean and we want you to have to check your suitcase.  This rule is created by the FAA (not our company) and on regional jets of our size it is an FAA regulation to check anything larger than 36 linear inches.  I do not care if you have important documents or a $2,000 camera.  I do not care if you have rare 25 pound rocks from Japan (true story) or your sister's wig for her wedding (another true story).  If the FAA were to walk on board and find a suitcase that large-no matter its contents-then MY Flight Attendant license is on the line.  YOU will win the battle, have gotten what you wanted on board, and I would be out of a job....that's not very nice-is it?  

So next time you board a smaller regional jet at your local airport, look your flight attendant in the eye...and valet check your suitcase with a smile.  

Pretty Much Sums It Up...

Spring...Where Areeee You?!

I know I have shared this thought with many people already...but I believe that I could never see snow again in my life and be completely okay with it.  I know it has been bad in the south this year...but it has been NOTHING compared to the windy, freezing, snowy wet torture we've had in New York this year.  I have hated every single moment of going outside since the beginning of December.  Maybe it is because I am a southern implant living in the boroughs of the Big Apple, but I have encountered many a New York native who can't wait for summer.  I am sure when summer rolls around we will be complaining about the heat....can't it just be spring and fall all year round??? 

I am over stepping out of the bus into 4 feet of exhaust filled snow dragging my suitcase behind me...because what else would I do?  I am tired of wearing 15 layers of clothing every time I leave the house.  I am tired of buying new shoes for work because they are corroded because of the salt that's on the ground.  I hate the black slush that is a result of New York drivers.  I hate the ice that sits on the tree branches and falls on me when I walk to the bus stop.  I hate getting stuck out of base on my days off as a result of the snow and ice....because I don't get those days off back!! I am tired of puddle jumping at the corners of sidewalks because the workers who clear the snow think its a grand idea to push it into a pile at the crosswalk where it will be stuck forever.  

Normally it wouldn't bother me but after the 3,861st snow this winter I am officially ready for spring.  Yesterday the temperature reached 52 degrees and it felt like summer.  I even discussed wearing shorts with a friend of mine.  It made me want to break out the sunscreen and summer sandals! That is pitiful!!! 

I am praying really hard for many days like yesterday in the coming months!!! It makes the whole city happy and in a better mood.  People were coming out of the woodwork and hanging out in parks again and shopping and allowing people to pass them while waiting in line for hot dogs on the corner.  It was glorious!!! 

Holly was in for a visit...she is on spring break from school in Dallas and I told her if she brought this weather she could come all the time!  So lovely to spend the day with her in the fabulous sunshine enjoying the city.  We had lunch at the Bryant Park Grill, then ventured up to Dylan's Candy Bar (which

 was her whole purpose for her visit I think...she's a candy lover) and ended the day in Central Park.  So fun!  

The Other Maggie

It's moving week here at Maison de Mean Girls and we are all SO super sad and depressed.  This year has been nothing but rainbows, butterflies and sunshine and now we are moving to a ......*cue the music* -crashpad.  Ugh.  

Paige and Brittany were willing to sign a year lease last year on this amazing apartment of ours in Kew Gardens.  Well guess what?  The lease is up.  None of us are sure where this year is going to take us, and so after diligent searching and apartment looking-we cannot commit to a year long leasing agreement so a crashpad is the next best thing.  

Crashpads are an interesting breed.  For those of you who don't know, crashpads are temporary housing/beds for flight crew members only.  Because we spend 65% of our week in hotel rooms, a true commuter only spends 12 nights or less at their crashpad.  They are offered at a reduced price, and include a shared room with a bed (often a bunk bed), a bathroom, access to the kitchen, living space, and all wifi and utilities included for anywhere from $200-$300 a month.  They will gain reputations as being "quiet" or "old" or "the partiers" or even this week we found "organic."  The crashpad is there if you have an early sign in, get stuck in base, or maybe have one day off and are not able to make it home....but it is very clear the crashpad is NOT your home.  It's like a rotating dorm for flight crews.  You pay monthly and keep your bed, with your sheets and a few of your things.  There are such things as "hot beds" which are crash pads that charge nightly and you pay $25 or $30 for just a bed-no sheets no anything.  Basically like a hotel, but without the sweet comforts.  

The owner of the crashpad we looked at yesterday told us that there were three people living there that she hasn't even seen since September.  But at $260 a month, if you get stuck in New York two accidental nights a month-you will pay more than that for a hotel.  It's figured we should have the room to ourselves most nights, which is an added bonus.  

It's not at all what we want to do....there will be no pictures on the wall or dishes left in the sink accidentally.  But, we have to do what's in all of our best interests.  If someone decides to leave, we don't have to find someone to fill the empty spot.  Which has been a huge burden on us all this year.  Even though my name wasn't on the lease...I wasn't going to leave Paige high and dry with rent money to cover-that's just not me!  So let's see how it goes....let's see how the airline industry throws us around this year....and just give it a chance.  Roll with the punches...

Oh, my life....

Happy Saint-Valentin

It has been a trying week here at maison de mean girls in New York. Our moods have drifted from highs to lows for certain circumstantial reasons and we are trying to find a solution to making Valentine's Day a happy one this year.  

Tenee, Paige and I all have the day off....and since we all really do love Valentines Day for the meaning it shares between loved ones, friends and family..we want to send 2014 off in style.  Maybe a love filled movie marathon day filled with fruity red cocktails and heart shaped cookies to boot.  Maybe a night in the city celebrating single-dom/partial single-dom/waiting for years to be engaged (even though only 1/3 of us are actually not taken...).

My mom always made a big deal about Valentines Day.  We had heart shaped pancakes and decorated breakfast tables in the morning.  There were always small boxes of chocolates in our lunch boxes and flowers sent to school.  As the years go by those packages and flowers seem to dwindle as I age into the crazy adult that I am....it doesn't mean that not a Valentines Day goes by that I don't think about the pink and red tulips that showed up at the end of the school day or the red napkins and heart shaped candies that adorned our table...but that my mom cared and loved us so much that she wanted to make the day seem special.  That, in turn, has carried on into my adult life, as I get just as excited as my friends that have significant others...maybe even more so! 

I remember in France that Saint-Valentin is only celebrated between "lovers"...not between friends or family.  So it was to their surprise that I showed up on the 14th with heart shaped confetti and glitter cupids for everyone.  Red and pink glitter strewn all about the floor, while Marie-Césare and I made Valentines for her family.  

There's no wrong or right way, and single or married...friends, family, or "lovers" it is a beautiful holiday to remind everyone around you that you love them.  That they are appreciated and loved.  It may be a "Hallmark Holiday" but its one that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.  

How are you spending your Valentines Day?  Out for a romantic evening? Or just spending a quiet one at home?  I hope everyone is spending it around people they love.  

**update**

They cancelled the flight at 4:30pm, after making all the passengers sit around all day and wait and think they were getting to New York.  We have to stay another night in Toronto and hope to get out tomorrow at some point on company time.  

Oh yea...did I mention tomorrow is my day off? 

Yes, just so glamorous dah-ling.  

#ihatesnow

I have been fairly lucky lately.  I haven't been to Toronto since before Christmas.  I didn't go to Toronto at all in January...which is very strange for a reserve flight attendant based out of New York.  My lucky streak ended yesterday when I got in from snowy Detroit and scheduling extended my trip to a Toronto overnight and a Nashville overnight.  It was a 23 hour layover in Nashville, and if it weren't for that...I wouldn't have been so nice about going to Toronto.  We only had 15 passengers scheduled for the flight; 3 in first and 12 in coach.  Easy peasy, right?  

It's never as it should be.....

So here I am again for the second night this week in Toronto (what did I do to deserve this?) it is my last day before a streak of four days off.  We were scheduled to leave at 9:20 this morning, I go downstairs for our 8:15am van and the rest of the crew has just found out we are delayed because of winter storm number 592 this winter.  After I set my alarm early, after I got dressed, after I put on makeup, and after repacked my tote so things were "just so."  They couldn't have delayed it before all that-just to make it easy on us and the passengers...certainly not.  So we re-claim our room keys we have just laid on the front desk and head back up to our rooms until a new 11am van time.  

11am rolls around, our departure time is still noon....so we head through security and customs.  We get to the gate and find out we have a "wheels up" time of 1:51pm.  Board at one, head to the runway and wait for the heads up from air traffic control at 1:51.  A half an hour later...ATC has pushed us up to 2:34pm.  Then 2:44pm.  Then back to 2:40pm.  Then its pushed to 3:33.  Then 4:05. Now its 4:29.  We've already cleared customs so we can't go back to the hotel, and they could move the time up so we have to be around and ready to go.  

I steer clear of the customer service desk because people ask ridiculous questions over and over.  Since I don't have access to our reservations systems I can't answer the questions they are asking...so its best if I just slink away.  I pay $15 for an overpriced salad, run the battery down on my ipad and iphone, worry if scheduling is going to tack something else on the end of my schedule when I get back to New York, and check the weather radar 136 times.  

Our aircraft is here (thank heavens)...which is why we haven't cancelled and our entire crew wants to go home to New York.  I am tired of sitting in these crazy chairs where I can't make a phone call and the wifi is less than par.  

It's like Toronto is welcoming me back after a long hiatus....... and all I can do is mutter, "thanks..."  

Auntie Again!

Such exciting news was shared within the family yesterday!! (Well, we've known since Christmas...but the rest of the world became privy to the information via the blog yesterday!) My sister-in-law and brother are expecting a babbbbbyyyy!!!!!! Eeeeek!!! We are all so excited!  

Little baby Flynn is scheduled to arrive the end of next summer!  Check out www.kaelahbee.com for the cutest photo reel and more photos! 

No more underwear.

I arrived back into Chicago today from Little Rock to check my schedule and to be surprised (or not so surprised) that crew scheduling had added a San Antonio turn and a Northwest Arkansas overnight to my schedule.  It is currently day 5 of 6 for me...so I am wearing thin.  Sometimes...even the per diem isn't worth it.  So that will be 4 legs for me today, start at 7am, finish at 7:15pm.  You think I live the glamorous life?  ha...

Think Again.  

I am tired, my nail polish is beginning to chip, and I am running out of knee highs.....that means it is time to go home!  

As I was walking through the aisle today with the beverage cart I had a man stop me to ask for a drink.  I asked him what he would like and he proceeded with, "I'll have a water, a coffee, a Sprite and a Cranapple."  I am certain I looked at him with my "you have got to be out of your mind" eyes.  I honestly didn't know what to say.  (Don't get me wrong...there were things I wanted to say.  I just would have probably lost my job.) I eventually mustered up, "I have 55 other passengers to serve sir, you can pick two now, and if I have any of your choices when I get finished I will bring them to you." I felt like I was speaking to a child...."No..you can't have all the candies today, but pick two and we will get the other two when we come back to the store." What was he trying to do? Drink the price of his airline ticket onboard?  Sorry sir...but you have a long way to go.  

Now- if you'll excuse me...I have to go tell the husband who is massaging his wife's feet in row 10 that they must turn around and fasten their seatbelt for landing.  

Tortas Frontera

I am currently sitting at the food court in the Chicago O'Hare International Airport listening to a small Indian girl wail and wail.  I don't know what she is wailing about, but her parents are trying the ignore tactic-which clearly isn't working.  At some point...you have to draw the line.  As she continues to cry incessantly....my patience is wearing thin.  I must venture out...and at O'Hare, there is only one place to go!  Tortas Frontera!  

Rick Bayless has taken his food genius to the skies.  He is the owner of Frontera Grill and Topolobampo in Chicago.  Tortas Frontera mostly serves tortas (grilled sandwiches) but there several other options on the menu.  The raspberry prickly pear aqua fresca is so sweet and sour and thirst quenching...it is a sight for sore eyes for flight attendants who are overloading with soda and Minute Maid orange juice day in and day out.  And if I wasn't in uniform, you can bet I would go for one of their delicious margaritas.  

I had guacamole and salsa last night which was a first.  A flight attendant I worked with last week told me I must try it next time I was in Chicago and to get it loaded...and that's its only around $6! So, that's exactly what I did.  What exactly does "loaded" entail?  Starts with a cup of fresh made guacamole, then its topped with bacon, toasted pepitas, sun-dried tomatoes, roasted peppers, and queso cotija-fresco mix.  Now-I will be the first to tell you that I am ONLY a fan of MY guacamole and my mother's.  I never order guacamole at restaurants because it won't even top our concoction.  But........ as weird as it sounds...the bacon in the guacamole was pretty delicious with its smoky aftertaste.  The sun-dried tomatoes created an intense tomato flavor and texture and the cotija cheese on top balanced everything out.  

It was a much cheaper option than having tortas or molletes (and I wasn't that hungry) and still a little taste of Frontera.  Love!  So do yourself a favor and next time you have a layover at O'Hare for whatever reason, make it down to Tortas Frontera and try it out!  There are locations in Terminal 1 at gate B11, Terminal 3 at gate K4, and Terminal 5 at gate M12.  Usually they will stay open until the last flight goes out.  

Waiting on a 12:50 departure to Little Rock this evening.  If I was in New York I can assure you that I wouldn't be going anywhere, but, lucky (or unlucky) for me I was doing Chicago flying during the snow storm so now I am sure I will be flying in and out of Chicago for a couple of days until things get back to normal in New York or the snow melts...whichever should come first.  

Jus d'Orange...Sans Glace.

I started off this morning in snowy Montréal, where I was eager to get up and out of bed at 5:30am.  I am always eager to get to the airport in Montréal, because I can answer all kinds of questions and be at every passengers call.....en français....of course.  For some reason, helping passengers doesn't have the same appeal in the english language.  I am always eager to chat up passengers going to and from Montréal....in hopes that we will have something in common and I can practice my French.  Granted, they are certainly not parisien...and their accent comes out somewhat grotesque...but I can usually fight through it and carry on a decent conversation.  If you ask me, my french is better than their french...but who is keeping tabs?  

I can tell you that I did not serve any drink other than orange juice on that flight.  Sans ou avec glace? That was the only question I asked.  Jus d'orange s'il vous plaît...  That was the only answer.

I arrived back into Kennedy airport around 9 am and called to be "released."  If you are a flight crew and on "reserve" our crew scheduling department can extend you to another flight or overnight when you arrive back into base.  I was keeping my fingers crossed that I could have the day at home to do laundry, go to the bank, and go to the store.  "Hi Melissa...this is Flight Attendant Philpot.  I was just calling to hopefully be released,"  I said in my sweetest voice possible.  We laughed about the weather and getting things back on track while she looked around in the system for anything and everything she could assign me to.  After holding for about 90 long seconds she came back on and paused.  "Well, we are going to surface you to LaGuardia Airport for a Detroit turn."  I wanted to reach through the phone and pull her hair and cry in her face....but instead she heard a grumbled, "Okay, put it on my schedule."  

Surfacing to another airport only happens at our base here in New York.  We are the only base that operates co-domicile....so going between the two happens pretty often.  There is a company that scheduling calls that takes us back and forth between airports as needed.  It is free to us, as long as the company schedules us.  

I rush to the gate and find out that there is not a second flight attendant listed for the flight.  The clock ticks away....10, 10:12, 10:35, 10:48...with a 10:55 departure time, we will surely be delayed.  For the past 10 minutes I (and the pilots) have been hoping that maybe they would just cancel it.  The captain begins to list himself on the earlier flight home.  The First Officer would be able to have lunch with a friend, and I could go home and get my chores finished.  I look at the clock again which just turned 10:57am and they just assigned me a partner in crime.  A few choice words come into all of our heads.  

Let's go to Detroit.  

Baby I'm Back! Yea!

I'm back! 

Okay, so its not a New Years resolution (because that rule I will just break), but I'm going to try my hardest in 2014 to get back into the blog.  My life really isn't all that interesting, but talking to my family over the holidays helped me to realize that it is more interesting than most.  Especially since passengers seem to get crazier and crazier as the months go by......

I spent the beginning of the month of January at home....spending time with my family and friends, picking up on the holidays I missed out on.  I went back to work for four days then spent four more days at home.  I am currently on a flight back to New York where I will spend four days working then three days off...heading out to the Grand Canyon with my favorite friends and roommates, Paige and Tenee.  We haven't spent a lot of time together just the three of us in ....well, I can't even remember.  

As I sit in a packed 63 seat CRJ aircraft, I can't help but notice everyone around me.  The lady beside me that smells like fish tanks,nursing homes and chinese food.  The man across the aisle that asks that perpetually hated question when asked what he would like to drink by the flight attendant, "What do you have?"  Then the spiel of coke, diet coke, pepsi, diet pepsi, dr. pepper, orange juice, tomato juice..................................and the list continues until you finish ALL of the products in your cart and he decides upon a glass of water - no ice.  Get OUT of my life.

 The woman sitting in front of me is a hoity toity you-know-what that thinks she is better than anyone else....and acts as if sitting next to someone in coach is the most horrendous thing that's ever happened to her.  News flash: buy a first class seat.  Besides, your white girl weave is showing.  

Or, perhaps the mother sitting behind me with her four year old child whose shoes seem to easily find the back of my seat.  If I didn't have on my uniform, you can bet that I would put that childs feet to rest.  And last but certainly not least, there is an asian man sitting diagonal from me who is bald....but he has a mullet.  Don't ask me how its possible, I don't really know....but it is.  

I don't notice things like that when I work, because I have a job to do and not a lot of time to sit around and look at other people....but the general public is an interesting species.  I often wonder where everyone comes from, where are they going, and why can't they just follow the rules-but I'll save that one for another day. 

I suppose without all those crazy people I would be out of a job...so I guess I gotta suck it up and deal with it!  

I wish I could count all the pairs of pantyhose that I've been through in the year 2013.  I know I've been through at least 4 pairs of shoes.  I've smeared through 2 tubes of lipstick.  I've gone through two watches and probably 25 bottles of Purell.  I've learned to cover things like hotel remotes and phones with shower caps and ice bucket liners (smart, huh?) and never touch anything in an airplane lavatory.  

2013 was exciting!  I loved my new job, and I still do.... but the newness is beginning to wear off.  Would I be lying if I said I do it for the benefits?  Absolutely not. Would I be lying if I said some days I just want to say "no" to crew scheduling and forget the whole thing and just have a day off?  No.  But the people I work with are top notch, and so much fun.... despite their quirks our passengers are really very nice-sometimes a little needy-but make work fun.  What other job could I possibly have that allowed me to visit friends and family all over the world on my days off?  For free?!  

So I hope that I can transition the blog into something new and fun and relevant to my life as a flight attendant.  I hope that there are still readers hanging on out there....and I hope that I can provide lots of insight into the world of travel and airports...and for those of you in Galax or Lawrenceburg that live vicariously through this blog, I hope I can once again bring a little daily adventure back into your lives!